In Defence of Susan Boyle | Piers Morgan Website

In Defence of Susan Boyle | Piers Morgan Website

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I like circles you like squares

I go round and round

and you go up, across and down

Sometimes my circle fits in your square

At times it's a wheel moving smoothly

without a creek or sound

Sometimes your square fits in my circle

At times it's sharp and jaggered

A square peg fighting your way about

Together, we're different ........ [verse]

Together we're a pair

Because I am a circle

and you are a square

But I love squares, even though I'm circle

and you love circles, although you're a square

We are the iris's of our eyes

Retracting, contracting, attracting

'cos we are different you and I

I am going to make a wish and

these are going to be my vows:

"If you promise to accept me as a circle

who keeps going round and round

Then I will accept you are a square

with your sharp edges, blunt and pronounced"

You'll always love me because I am a circle

and I will always love you cos your square

and together we make a healthy pair

A combination of strange differences

will stop me going round and round

and gently I will smooth your edges

- combined and moulded we will

make a gentle star!

Scottish Pigeon - Conscience

'Are you looking at me?' asked the Scot Pigeon "Do you like what you see?"



There was a pause between the Pigeon and the Bloke.



Scot Pigeon continued, "Don't come any closer ..... I can see you clear enough from here! What do you think your doing using that girl? She knows something is not right - she's very intelligent - and you know she knows - yet still, you mess with her head. You should be ashamed of yourself and so should the people conspiring with you................ not funny!"


"Pigeons don't talk!" said the bloke


"This one does - Call me Scott P - for short" "Tell her who you are or I will."


"You don't know who I am - you're just bluffing"


"No - Im not. You make life complicated - and you have a few on the go!"


The Bloke laughed at the Scott Pigeon ... He must be 'me' dreaming - Pigeon's don't even have a brain.


"This Pigeon does!" -He read The Bloke's mind


The Bloke looked astonished, "What do you mean by that? "


"If you didn't think I had a brain, you wouldn't even ask that question!"


"Now your just being a smart arse!"


"NO - I'm a Smart Pigeon......................!" He laughed "Freaked you out then didn't I?"


Scot P walked up and down the grass verge his wings behind his back "Your looking at me looking at you, looking at me ----- difference being - whilst this repore is taking place you bring in the camera!"



"Wot!!!! You're a pigeon - I was taking a picture of you looking at me............... you wanted me too - you are a poser!"



"I admit - I am unique" Responded Scot P as he fluffed out his feathers, "But it's manners to ask ........ Anyway, you never asked that last pigeon"



The Bloke was exasperated, "Wot last pigeon!?"



"That red head with the pigeon chest -------- you dirt bat - and the blond one .....! Your girl saw the hair on your car seat - you went away with the blond for the weekend ------ then there is the one from your work.... and there's more!"



It was too much to take, he clumped down on the grass verge - he knew Scot P was right. He was playing Russian Roulette and he needed a moment to think

"Scott P!" The bloke began to ask, "Why are you looking away?"

"I'll let you guess!"

proper job!

When I sit and think about it ...
this proper job thingie majig
It must be when your earning a lot

Have you ever noticed that people
who have loads of money
aren't necessarily working for a living!
Or those who push a pen behind a desk
aren't necessarily helping the universe
or the arts or anything

Many pop stars and footballers
are stinkin rotten rich
they're respected but they're
the first to pull dirty tricks
Governments stand riteously with
their high moral ground
yet get freebies (tax free) wherever
they go

Actors, Singers, Writers, Presenters -
Radio and TV
only work part-time with more money

in their pocket
than a man who spends hours cleaning
the streets
Journalists making up stories

heartless regardless of the effect it has

on the recipient

Some people make it their job to bully
be thuggish, gob off and badger another
human being
Whose life is completely different to
their friends or neighbours or family

So what - we're all different

I'd like to win the lottery
and spoil and be kind to myself
cos what I do with my money
is nobody's bloody affair

You see - some people are only happy

when they bring you down, criticise

and say hurtful things

Cos then they can feel good about themselves

and say 'You wanna be like me cos I've got a

proper job!'

I will politely respond 'No thank you - I LOVE being ME!'

pictures and repeats

I love this picture - soft colours on a semi-stormy night

with two lovers who embrace in a dance like manner -

However, they're not really dancing and they're not

really standing....

Perhaps they are just gazing instead!

It looks like a hotwater bottle night to me

TV.

Just watched Paul O'Grady --- love that man - in a one off programme on GHOSTS! He is sooo funny even when he is serious! They've been contacting dead people in Italy and spain or wotever crypts (or you know - those deep cellars where they embalm people)

He gets everywhere that man - a bunch of scousers - an actor, actress, singer, medium and himself - all asking if anyone is there and if so to give a sign ----- to which Paul O'Grady replies 'for god sake don't throw a bone!'

He was on BBC Radio 2 last Sunday, hilarious - but I have to say Paul I drew a line at the music - not my cuppa tea if you know what I mean!

MY BOYFRIEND

He would love that programme - Wouldn't surprise me if he was the man stood in the corner with an axe thing in his hand and wearing a cloak etc! Hmmm!

REPEATS ---- my first blog - I repeated the word 'line' about 4/5 times - in fact, I repeated a lot of words in that . My excuse was - I don't have one!

Apart of me - My Art

You don't know me! You don't know me!

You don't know me!

singer ..... dancer ...... artist ...... designer ...... athlete

Sister daughter Lover Friend Aunty

Inventor

Impressionist

Provider

Lovemaker

Peacemaker

Writer

I am many things - but mainly 'It's good'!

Questions!

Oh My how time has passed - and still - not over you

I know it was not a myth, a make believe,

a dream or some other scheme

Was it premediated - I'm not sure -

Was I intuitive - oh! yes for sure

Did I lose my mind for something that will never be mine

Did I put myself in your shoes and try to understand your moves

I thought I did - or did I get that wrong too

Nothing can allay these thoughts of mine -

jumbled, confused - but that's nothing new!

Questions -so many - intrusive, unkind

and not at the right time.

Did logic come into this

- oh god, I'm questioning again !!!

No more - I've had enough!

one thing I will add as a very last thought

Is that people can get it wrong,

they just don't like to admit!

Poem for boyfriends

I am no longer going to believe my horoscopes, read stupid girl questions about 'how much your man loves you etc etc etc.' It's all crap!

One of my girlfriend's sent me this questionnaire - 'Will you marry your present Boyfriend' Commenting 'This is soooooo accurate!'

I tried it - Now I know I said I'd finished talking about 'pants' the other day, but this is a different kind of pants ............. what I want to say is 'WOTTA LOADA PANTS'!

Answering the 'limited' answers (none of which I would have chosen in the first place - answers manipulated and controlled as they decide what 'they' want the reply to be, rather than you! Therefore, makes it a very 'plastic' and 'untrue' survey in the beginning!

The Response to my answers!

'Your boyfriend is only temporary - you will discover something about him and that he has kept a secret from you - he has been lying to you'
#'Perhaps I'm already aware he's been keeping 'something' from me
--------------------------

If boyfriend says he is going to call - then call he will
If he doesn't and he sends a text instead, he is lying and keeping something from you
There is no excuse for not calling the one you love

Horoscopes!!! I still like to read them - but, generally they're full of crap! What a way to earn a living

music

My favourite album is The Script so far.

I love the lyrics on track 10

I promise I'm not blowing smoke

The tune is tranquil - beautiful

An easy listening track - Romantic

such an amazing sound

Guitarist - is it spanish - i'm not sure

I'm gonna learn to sing it and may even learn the guitar

I keep playing it over and over

til it drowns my very thoughts

So much music and so much choice

but it's so long since something gripped my heart

I swear it takes you to a peaceful place

with someone genuine, and filled with love

The lines on their face and the swelling in their eyes

says they've travelled to many a painful place

but the kindness remains beyond the strength

There is no plastic - just a genuine guy

who loves to write, sing and play the guitar

his wise (not too poor) but all that glitter means

didley squat

I love that song - the man whose rough around the edge

whose gentle, quiet and strong and doesn't seem to

fit in that much

I want to be lost in his arms and kiss his tired eyes

I want his lips to embrace mine

and walk along the beach and sit and talk about

absolute tosh

and laugh at life and people and how things

go round and round like a merrigo round

but promise one another we will never be sucked

in with such crap

Anyway ---- enough of the romance - I have to go

Oh! I also love that record with the lyrics ' I like you so much better when your naked and I love me so much better when your naked!'

Pants - I FOUND LAST WEEK'S POST Yeahhhhh!

Heyy! I did it -- turned it around - Mmm! clean linen - AND - it's not a loada pants! LOL

As I mentioned above - discussing pants, knickers, bras was not my intention - and as for that knicker market research pervert - if I ever get to meet him, I shall be hanging him on the line (minus dick!) _ until he learns it was 'not' OK!

I had a wonderful day yesterday (Sunday) - needed it - after colliding with another vehicle(a crash) and still reeling from the shock - 'How did that happen' ! At present, I would be best not to air my feelings on the matter as it is in the hands of the insurers.

MOVING ON ....

Can I just talk about nothing for a minute ... you know how these 'self-riteous' business type people go on about multi-tasking etc. and they equate to a superman or superwoman ---

Well -I believe I'm good - It's just that, I'm just not that good at being a self-riteous multi-tasking bragger -

But here goes ---------------------

A) I've had a bubble bath

B) put on my self-tan lotion (with moisturising purities - but the label says nothing about that slight smell you get, which is quite Yuk!

C) So I will have to mask that with my fantabi-amazing fragrance 'MEEE'.

D) I've done a self-kissing test on my body .... YUP! I taste good ..... no need for a dab of chocolate - means no complaints from my boyfriend on:-

(i) me tasting orrible

(ii) or complaining that my moisturising self-tan has calories (unlike the chocolate he spreads over me when .................. OOOOOO! sorry too much information) ----- anyway you know what I mean

D) Writing on my blog

E) Catching up with emails

F) Bringing my washing in from the line because it's about to rain

G) Remember to put clothes on, as I'm half undressed - due to my busy day -

H) Prepare to put TV on for the second episode of the XFactor (which is my addiction (I confess) to the criticism of most of my girlfriends .....

I) Be glamorous and ready for my man to pick me up and take me out

J) Check my toe nails aren't chipped and my feet look pretty -

K) Keep a check on my self-tan to see if the colour is starting to show and whether I need a 'top-up'

L) Remember, the last time I 'topped-up' on my self-tan, my boyfriend complained I got it over his car seat (it was the 'make-up' type and not the one that develops etc. ---- I think my self-tan hadn't dried properly!!!!)

M) Hoover my carpet, after clipping boyfriends nails the nite before - I hate that - they shoot in the air - and you can't find the tricky little nail-ends!

WHAT WAS MY POINT ??

My point is this -

a) Whilst, I'm busy doing the above and trying to do that thing that people call - 'Chill Out' as well - (total impossibility) - I :

(i) Keep putting on the kettle, making many cups of tea and none have I finished

(ii) This is so annoying - but not important.

Hey ... the world's a better place when it's upside down!!!!???? or sideways !?

Maybe not - but - I haven't got the time to figure out how technically I can move this shot.

All I know is - 'I like it' .... clean washing - beats airing yer dirty laundry in the open (even if you are allergic to lavendar) - Not that I'm allergic to lavendar- but I wonder if there is a diagnosis for someone who gets an allergic reaction just by looking at lavendar against clean linen.

I hope you guys aren't offended if my pants aren't on this line. I felt I had to draw the line somewhere. Do you know I got a fobia putting my knickers on the line. There was a time when some miscellaneous pervert was knicking my knickers and putting them on someone elses washing line. It was like find the thimble: except my pants weren't the small size of a thimble - they were those wholesome Bottom Covering Below the Belt type of draws (knicker, pants) wotever!

Anyway - it was just a loada pants!

I admit my knicker drawer was in need of a serious makeover and I remember being duped by a salesman on the telephone one Friday evening. He sounded so nice, respectful etc - In fact, his voice was everso vaguely familiar!

Anyway this ....... person ..... proceded to ask me a loada questions about underwear, after introducing himself as working for some reputable company from Debenhams at the Trafford Centre etc.

{OH! my god! Ive just had a scary thought - but can't tell you - I may have to hold onto this }

So - back to this salesman - he asked questions about my bras - my breast size .............

Awwwww! I know - I can sense what you think - you're being had by another pervert!

Well let me tell you - he was convincing - with his stupid respectful, quite matter of fact questions about my bras!

I did not know my size - and during the conversation - had to take off my bra to look at the label.

Naturally, I wanted to know what was in it for me - if I was to try out their 'Wonder Bra's' -

I got to keep the bras, and they'd throw in some hoisery for good measure ....... I didn't think it was a bad deal - and I coulda coped with a few freebies and whilst 'pants' where not the main object of the 'Underwear Research' the questions did seem to lead down that path!

After an hour's sales pitch, he took my details - and being a smart gal - I took his.

However, once off the phone, I decided to follow up the leads he gave me ...................... OK - the guy was not calling from Debenhams and his telephone number was impossible to reach.

In fact - I forgot to mention - the research was being run for OK Magazine - none of it happened - it was a complete duff.

Oh! yes - I had been had - made a fool of and I was certain it was people who knew me - winding me up -------What on earth can the vital lesson be:

Here are my thoughts:

1. I was had - and some of those had a good laugh at my expense!

2. Thankfully - I didn't take myself seriously - and could at least laugh at myself

3. The joke in the end - would surely be on them ------ dirty conscience

4. And I could smile confidently in the knowledge, that whilst my breasts were small - his dick was clearly the size of a pinhead!!!!